Archive for May, 2009

Mothers day for many people means flowers, dinner, and for some baseball fans, maybe a trip to the ballpark with dear ol’ mom.  In this special edition of Oh Murph, we’ll take a look at how Mother’s Day is celebrated in Murph’s household.

Legend has it that the Murphy men carry a genetic abnormality that allows them to produce Super Sperm, the rare ability to generate offspring which have near-superhuman abilities, such as veteran-like plate discipline.  As a result, the Murphy’s decided to celebrate Mother’s Day as a pre-Father’s Day upon the birth of young Daniel Murphy in 1985.  While the traditional June date for Father’s Day was relegated to the usual ties and coffee mugs, Mother’s Day was now reserved for commemorating the day the Murphy mens’ Super Sperm spawned a future Hall of Famer.

Realizing the fame and fortune that the young Murph would bring to the family, the Murphy’s wasted no time in signing him up for various sports and activities.  While Mister Miyagi needed two chopsticks to pick flies out of the air, Murph was able to do it with just one by sharpening the end of it with his teeth and impaling the unsuspecting bug – at the age of three.

Fast forward a couple of decades, and Daniel Murphy is poised to make his mark in the Major Leagues. Russell Athletic has already had to develop a specialized custom athletic supporter for Murph, not unlike the concept or purpose of the container Vittoria Vetra and her father created out of necessity to contain their anti-matter in Dan Brown’s ‘Angels & Demons’ – that is, even a tiny amount released would have dire consequences. 

For now, the Murphy family is content with their son in the bigs, even while stars such as Oprah have requested samples from the fruit of the Murphy loin for developing their own progeny – not that Murph would hit that.  The only thing he’s hitting right now are 9 oz. horsehide balls with his wood. 

Editors Note:  Mario went to the Mets game yesterday while his mother was celebrating with the rest of the family

Joba’s mother’s mug shot was released today.  After finding out she was slinging Meth, we at OH MURPH! thought she’d be a complete mess.  Boy, were we surprised when we saw that she is an absolute MILF!  Julie Alexandria’s got nothing on her!

Jacqueline Standley A.K.A Joba’s mom, 44 of Nebraska is facing felony charges of suspicion of selling Methamphetamine to an under cover police officer in February.

Look at the picture, kids…  she looks completely innocent and clean.

Joba was quoted as saying “You’ve only got one mom, man, and you’ve got to be thankful for her, I still love her”

Who wouldn’t love that face?

Click here for the full article

The rules need to be re-written for Daniel Murphy.  Murph’s rookie eligibility vanished with a pinch-hit strikeout on the last day of the 2008 season, pushing his at-bat total to 131, or just one more AB over the limit for rookie eligibility.  It’s a shame, too, as Murph’s worst season during his surefire Hall of Fame career will happen to be his rookie year.  But being the man he is, Murphy won’t cry about it.

That’d be so un-Murph.

Just look at what Murph’s been able to do so far in 2009, hitting primarily in the 2-hole as a not-so-everyday Left Fielder:

In 75 ABs, he’s scored  15 runs, slammed three home runs, knocked in 17 RBI, and even legged out two doubles and a triple on his way to a .313/.376/.493 while appearing in 22 games.

Mind you, he hasn’t started every game, but has pinch-hit when hasn’t.  (The sole exception was the April 18th game, in which he made no appearance.  Sources say that Johan took a page out of Gladiator and, before the game, tied Murphy up by his arms in the dark recesses of the training room and shanked him in the ribs while mockingly embracing him – all as payback for the costly “Oh Murph” moment in Florida the week prior.)

Extrapolating these numbers over a conservative estimate of 600 ABs, Murph’s due for:

120 runs, 16 doubles, 8 triples, 21 homeruns, 88 RBI, and even 8 for 8 on  stolen base attemps to keep the Robby Hammocks of the world honest.  (Robby Hammock caught stealing 2 out of 13 attempts in 2008.  When’s the last time YOU caught a major leaguer stealing a base?).

It’s pretty safe to say that if Murph got just one less AB in 2008, his projected 2009 figures would’ve made him a lock for the NL ROY award.  Take it one step further and assume Murph really IS the full-time starting LFer for the Mets and tack on another 50 ABs or so – that’s another 9% increase in production! I’d like to see Jordan Schaeffer or one of Florida’s 37 rookies match that.

So where does Murph go from here?  Well, where else but up?  Murph only turned 24 at the start of the season, so let’s assume he plays until he’s 45 years old, and project a compounded 10% increase in offensive production each year.  That gives us another 21 Murphtastic years of HOF-caliber production.  Just doing the math alone makes your head swim.  How many players by the age of 30 are scoring over 200 runs a season?  In 2015, we’ll know one of them is Danny Murphy.  In fact, even his current lifetime fielding percentage of .957 will eventually improve to be OVER 1.000 – that is, his play will be so flawless that it actually negates his teammates’ errors.

Fast forward to Cooperstown, NY in the year 2035.  Murph will be preparing his induction speech, the curators of the Hall of Fame will be deciding in which order to display the unprecedented three separate Daniel Murphy plaques – one each for the three different Mets caps – Citi Field groundskeepers will be adjusting his retired #28 high up on the left field wall, the Commissioners office will be finalizing the fine print on the new rookie eligibility rule of 131 ABs, and his wife Julie Alexandria Murphy will be expecting their 14th child.  At the induction ceremony, Murph will make a joke about that dropped ball in Florida many years ago, about how he’s settled into his role of Vice President of OhMurph Inc., but what he WON’T do is cry….

That’d be so un-Murph.

Oh, Murph.

That’s the expression the young Daniel Murphy elicits from the Mets faithful with every botched liner, every tumbling dive, every shot put throw back to the infield.

But as any Murphaholic will tell you, “Oh Murph” is uttered with a tone of understanding and forgiveness – the same reaction that, say, Claire Huxtable had when she found a kitchen covered in grape juice after Rudy got hold of Cliff Huxtable’s brand new juicer.  Rude was simply a youngin’ learning to navigate this wacky world, not unlike Murph.

Rudy was in over her head, much like Danny Baseball is perhaps in over his out there in left field. But Murph is essentially a rookie, one who spent one day in Triple-A before being thrust into a pennant race.  Less than a year removed from being a little-known infield prospect, he was christened the starting left fielder and 2-hole hitter for a contender, playing in a new stadium with an unfamiliar outfield in the country’s biggest media market.  It’d be like the Huxtables adopting Rudy and expecting her not only do her chores, but to whip up dinner while she’s at it.

Clearly, no team with postseason aspirations would let a pseudo-rook learn on the job unless he made up for it somewhere else. Murph’s eye at the plate and gap-to-gap stroke has prompted coaches, scouts, and broadcasters to gush with no shortage of compliments and even comparisons to other grinders (Pete Rose, Frank Thomas, Don Mattingly, Captain C.B. Sullenberger, Jesus).  Aside from the superlatives, one thing does remain clear – Murph lives and breathes hitting and the results in his young career attest to the work he puts into that half of his game.  It’s the other half of his game that remains under scrutiny by fans and critics alike.

But Murph’s already-legendary work ethic is well documented, and as Jerry Manuel indicated he will only improve when he acclimates himself to the position and “breathes out there.”  Dodgers fans will tell you they’re only more than happy to overlook Manny’s comical impression of a left fielder because of the production at the plate, as well as some of the intangibles he provides.  Murph’s obviously no Manny, but he adds a dimension of intensity and grittiness to a tainted Mets team that goes beyond what he does on the field.

We, as a community of Mets and Daniel Murphy fans, offer nothing but positive support for Murph, the type of player fans wish the Mets developed more often.  Every uttered “Oh Murph!” will just as soon be followed with a “MURPH!!” the next time he comes through at the plate or makes a sliding catch at the foul line.

Daniel Murphy, meet your Murphaholics