Archive for July 9th, 2009
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The price is 8.99. Thank you to all of our fans for your continued support!
An Oh Murph source within the US Patent Office phoned us to report that Mets first baseman and citizen of the world Daniel Murphy filed a patent late last night for his spectacular defensive play in the Mets’ 5-4 win over the Dodgers.
Patent #016401-28, titled “The Murphy Reach Around,” prohibits other first basemen – from the Major Leagues down through Little League – from preforming a similar move.
With one out in the top of the 7th inning, Mark Loretta’s hard ground ball struck the first base bag and sprung into the air toward second base. After a few sexy stutter-steps, Murphy reversed direction, and with an awkward beauty only Daniel Murphy can pull off, in one motion picked up the ball and flipped it behind his back to a streaking Bobby Parnell for the out.
The play wowed the crowd and caught the attention of another great Met first basemen. Keith Hernandez, who was not calling them game because he was having his mustache detailed, was near speechless when reached for comment. “Much like the Iron Lotus or the Triple Lindy, I always assumed the Reach Around was nothing more than a folk tale, made up by Jimmie Foxx during an all night bender in the 40′s. Now, the name Daniel Murphy will become synonymous with the Reach Around.”
The application was processed at 11:09pm, which places the game at the top of the 9th inning. A Murphy source confirms the request was communicated from Murphy to one of his representatives through a series of hand gestures and brooding squints from the dugout in the bottom of the 7th.
While it is common knowledge that Daniel Murphy will one day be considered among the great hitters the game has ever seen, this patent request points toward a business acumen that potentially places Murphy in the same sentence as other athletes turned global stars, such as Michael Jordan, George Forman, David Bekham, or Wally Backman.
The same Murphy source informs us plans are already in the works for a Daniel Murphy Reach Around benefit concert, stating, “The Murphy Reach Around is the perfect remedy for ball-bag collisions.”