Archive for July 19th, 2009

Today marks the 494 day (or 1 year, 4 months, 8 days, or 42,681,600 seconds or 711,360 minutes or 11,856 hours or 70 weeks (rounded down, of course)) anniversary of the greatest sports injury of all time.

This is likely the cause of the Anal Fissure

We’ve seen some gruesome injuries before, such as, Robin Ventura’s fractured foot on a slide home to Moises Alou’s disgusting foot injury to Kendall’s misstep at first base and Sammy Sosa’s back injury.

But nothing and I mean NOTHING compares to the Anal Fissure AKA Anal Rippage suffered by Kaz Matsui back in 2008.

The definition of Anal Fissure is a tear in the lining of the lower rectum (anus) that causes pain during bowel movements.

Sure, there have been more gruesome injuries in the world of baseball, but none compare to the embarrassment of the world knowing you ripped your ass and wondering how the hell it happened.  Too bad for Kaz, he wasn’t a Met when this happened as surely we would have covered it up in some shady explanation that doesn’t add up.

By the way, look at this picture of Shawn Green… he looks so young!