OhMurph.com contributor Osse Jorosco was recently added to the Missing Persons list after spending the last few days MIA. Following a full invesetigation by the Mets Front Office after recent events with the Binghamton Mets, Osse’s whereabouts were finally discovered.

Jorosco recently spent a weekend in beautiful Binghamton, New York to hang out with his cousin, Jose Coronado, a shortstop prospect with the Binghamton Mets. After an alcohol-fueled night out at Zippers Bar & Grill, Jorosco and Coronado snuck back into the NYSEG Stadium offices where team officials had left a fruit basket in preparation for Assistant GM Tony Bernazard’s visit. They proceeded on replacing the contents of the jars of preserves, containers of cream spreads, and bottles of apple juice with various bodily excrements.

Bernazard, known for his affinity for fruit baskets, proceeded to help himself to the spread shortly after his arrival to the ballpark the following day. Enraged, Bernazard turned to see a chuckling Orosco and Coronado quickly duck out of view. The rest of the story has been well-published in recent days around the print and internet media.

Since the incident, Jorosco has been placed in protective custody by the Mets Front Office in a place that is empty, dark, and rarely visited, rumored to be the Wilpons’ bank vault. Orosco has since reached out to Kid Carter to inform him of his well-being and his impending return.