Archive for August 27th, 2009

The New York Mets’ injury woes continued today when mascot Mr. Met, 47, was diagnosed with a concussion by a neurologist not affiliated with the team. The injury apparently occurred sometime during the last homestand when Pepsi Party Patrol member Herb, accidentally launched a giveaway t-shirt into Mr. Met’s head.

Mr. Met is believed to have lost conciousness at the time of the injury and showed symptoms of a concussion when he began vomiting and complaining of headaches. Team doctors dismissed this as food poisoning and treated him with two extra-large Tylenol. Mr. Met had been performing with the concussion through this past Sunday’s game at CitiField. Former Met outfield Ryan Church reached out to Mr. Met and told him to get examined by a neurologist.

The unnamed neurologist’s report “suspects the world’s largest concussion” but cannot be 100% sure as the search for an MRI machine large enough to contain Mr. Met’s giant dome has been unsuccessful. Team doctors scoffed at the report and manager Jerry Manuel went as far to say “Mr. Met is a different animal than Ryan Church.” Omar Minaya blamed Daily News reporters for the injury, and somewhere, Tony Bernazard ripped his shirt off and challenged a minor-league mascot to a fight.

The team has not announced how they will replace Mr. Met on the next homestand, if he is unable to perform. There are some reports that indicate that the infrequently seen Mrs. Met may take her husband’s place or that Buster T. Bison may be recalled from Triple-A Buffalo; but conflicting reports say that Bobby Bonilla may return to the organization in a Mr. Met-type costume.

When asked about the Bonilla rumor, COO Jeff Wilpon would not confirm nor deny, instead indicating that the team would “rather not” have to pay any additional money to Bonilla; who is owed $1.2M annually from 2011 to 2035 as part of his January 2000 contract buyout.