Archive for September 1st, 2009

I am Jose’s Hamstring Tendon. I connect the hamstring muscle to the leg bone. Some say I am a superficial tendon as my function is redundant. I am sometimes partially removed and used to fix ligament damage like in ACL surgery or Tommy John surgery. After that the hamstring functions normally.
However, being the hamstring tendon of an elite athlete like Jose Reyes, I have special properties and advanced nerve endings which connect directly into Jose’s Brain. By way of the special plasma injections that Jose has been receiving from the Mets medical staff, my special powers have mutated to the point that I have complete control of Jose, I alone control all his thoughts and activities.
They ask Jose to run the bases, I told him no.
They asked him to do fielding drill, I told him no.
They asked him to take batting practice, I told him no.
They asked him to sit in the dugout and do his homerun handshakes, I told him that was ok but there haven’t been any homeruns so I might as well have told him no.
Jose continues to listen to me and I have made him depressed to the point that he has begged me for something, anything, that he can do that I will allow. I thought about it for many days and there really is only one thing that I can let Jose do:
REGGAETON!!!!!!!!
Here I come Alexis and Fido, Ojas Que No Ven, Daddy Yankee, WHOO, El Ritmo No
Perdona, we’re moving now.
Ole, Ole-Ole, Ole, Ole.

Ever wonder what Anderson Hernandez would look like on the Angels?

Also, worse tattoo goes to this clown, Ryan Roberts of the D-Backs

He thought it meant “Warrior” but really means Deuche Bag