Following a rough season by Mets young guns Daniel Murphy and Bobby Parnell, each will be parting ways for several weeks in a move designed to further their development as ballplayers — as well as serve as a “healthy” break from one another.  Murphy will be playing for the Escogido Leones  in the Dominican Republic while Parnell turned down the chance to pitch for Caracas in the Venezuela Winter League, where all team equipment is lined with Kevlar.

“You spend months on end with a guy and through the good times and the bad, you build a relationship,” says Murphy. “Neighboring lockers, sitting together on the plane, rooming together on road trips, the backrubs, sharing shower stalls — you know, all the normal ‘life of a ballplayer’ stuff.”

But Murphy admits that it also put a strain on his bromance with fellow young white guy Bobby Parnell as a lost season became more and more hopeless.

The official line is that Parnell is feeling “mental and physical fatigue” and wants to be in top form for Spring Training. But on the inside, he knows that if he and Murphy are to survive, they needed some distance from each other.

“We were gonna take Spanish classes together before leaving. Caracas is just a 90-min flight from the Dominican… we even had plans to meet at Hedonism in Jamaica for a few days after the season ended,” Parnell says. “But we talked about it and thought this would be a good opportunity for us to learn more about ourselves and explore other relationships. Besides, I have a serious aversion to brown people.”

Laughing, Murphy adds “Oh yeah, why else do you think he’d pass on a starting job? You think he wants to spend the four days between starts sharing a bench with all of Omar’s compadres?”

Parnell will spend most of the offseason in his native North Carol-ah-nuh doing redneck things like hunting, off-roading, and inbreeding. Murphy will be dodging venereal disease and robbery. So do the two expect any awkwardness when they meet again in Port St. Lucie next February?

“Gosh, if the good Lord gets him to Florida safely and in one piece, I don’t care what kind of sinful debauchery he learned from those heathens,” Parnell says. Murphy replies “If Jesus thinks we should be together again, then it’ll happen and the past will be the past. If kid-toucher priests can move on with their lives, we both can.”

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