The Mets biggest move this off-season has been the signing of Japanese Free Agent relief specialist, Ryota Igarashi. Igarashi is projected to slot in as the eighth inning specialist, setting up K-Rod.  OhMurph contacted Igarashi’s agent and the following interview was arranged.
 
OhMurph: Welcome to the US and the New York Mets.
 
Ryota Igarashi: Thank you.
 
OM: What did you do with your newfound millions Ryota, buy a new Toyota?
 
RI: Is that how this is going to go? Oh I get it, Ryota rhymes with Toyota. You a funny guy or something? I want a comedy break I read tweets from Eli from Brooklyn not from you round eye. Toyota? No Toyota for me. You buy one of those you might as well check out. I got some serious coin, I just ordered a BMW 650i. What you got Turkey?
 
OM: Sorry. Well, let’s try my second question, How does it feel to be the new Putz?
 
RI: You got some serious issues, big nose. You think I don’t know what Putz is? Make fun of the Oriental, he won’t know what you’re saying. Is that where you’re coming from? Think I never went to the Catskills? You know how many times I go to New York in my life? You ever go to Woodbury Commons on a weekend? Announcements are in Japanese there, wiseass. How about I buzz you with a 95 mile per hour fastball? American Turkey.
 
OM: Honestly, I don’t mean to offend you. Let me try this question, um, How does it feel to be teammates with Young Daniel Murphy?
 
RI: Are you kidding me? I’m sitting here Bozo, let’s talk about me. Man, I didn’t know my agent was this bad. I coulda got a few more mil if I signed with Boras and not put up with this crap. Sayounara, Dough boy, I’m outta here.
 
Well, it looks like the team will be adding a little attitude this year anyway.