Archive for January 19th, 2010

OhMurph would like to recognize the Over-achieving over-eaters in the News:
 
Today, Chris Christie, the rotund policto from NJ gets sworn in as its next Governor. After the ceremony, Chris will host a gala event with plenty of Big Macs to go around for all.
 
Rex Ryan, the cheesy fries eating coach of the Jets, has shocked the NFL by advancing his team to the conference championship round. No Gatorade showers for Rex as the portly professor could easily chugalug the entire cooler contents in a New York minute.
 
The Jets Nick Mangold, the Center from Centerville, Ohio tips the scales at 305 on a light day, but using his naturally padded abdomen has been a key for the NFL’s best running game.
 
Charles Barkley, the former Round Mound of Rebound and current triple thick milk shake slurpin’ Basketball analyst has enjoyed a surge in popularity, recently hosting Saturday Night Live to great reviews while filling up every pixel of that 52 inch wide screen HD TV of yours.
 
The way to success for today’s man is through his stomach!
 
So where does this leave our 2010 New York Mets? Clearly, they are way too far on the skinny side of the street.
 
OhMurph calls for a different training approach for the Mets. Forget the weight lifting, treadmill running, stationary bike spinning workouts. Its time to join the current trend and belly up to the table and chow down!
 
Of course there is precedence in Mets history for this approach. Who can argue the success of the rib-making rib-eating master Rusty Staub? How about the clutch pitching of the Heavy Hawian, El Sid Fernandez?
 
How can you be a Heavy Hitter if you’re light as a feather? If hitting is about weight shift, how can you hit when you have no weight to shift?
 
With only a couple of months before the season starts, it may not be possible to put on the pounds with the current squad. Is there still time for Omar to deal for Prince Fielder or maybe Miguel Cabrera? Can he wrap up the Benjie Molina deal already?
 
Of course OhMurph hopes this inspires our own Young Daniel Murphy to go out and load up on those Hershey bars, Pork rinds, and Cheese Doodles.
 
Work Less, Eat more!