Archive for February 9th, 2010

In addition to the widely reported changes at Citifield that include new blue and orange stairwells, a Mets Museum, a revised bullpen so that both sides can see the game (what a great idea!, must be easy to get an architects license these days), and the new lower Centerfield wall, OhMurph has once again gone underground to find a list of other changes designed to “enhance” the Mets efforts in 2010.

By investing prudently in the 2010 free agent market, and otherwise socking away millions, the Mets have been able to invest in the latest technology to improve their chances.

1. The Entire Outfield wall will be hydraulically actuated to articulate in two directions. In Layman’s terms, the fence will move in and down when the Mets are up and out and up when the opposition is at bat.

2. Special Chase Utley right field fence extender has been installed in the right field corner to raise beyond the other fence sections when Utley is at bat.

3. Radially actuated foul poles that will swing out when the Mets are at Bat and in when the opposition is at bat.

4. High-speed digital video editing to instantly make sure any of the video judgement calls go the Mets way.

5. SNY will mount a fast blip laser pointer on the centerfield camera that will hit the opposing batter’s eye a nanosecond after the ball release from the pitcher’s hand. We may yet see that first Met no hitter.

6. Auto tilt foul line area between home to first and third to home to make sure that those slow rollers up the line always go the Mets way. The third to home section can be raised an additional 27 degree to create a banked track so that Jose Reyes can score every time from second base.

7. An Electromagnetic field installed on the right side of the infield coupled with specially developed in-glove sensors to insure all balls hit that way will get into Murphy’s and Castillo’s gloves. Tests have also shown that this will also straighten out Wright’s throws from third.

8. Airborne drones disguised as seagulls that will be dispatched to intercept any ball hit that might clear the fence extensions listed above by the opposing team.

OhMurph suspects other improvements will be installed as the season progresses including artificial intelligence for Jerry Manuel, Omar Minaya, and Ollie Perez.