Archive for February 18th, 2010

Its been a while since we last heard from our beleaguered friend Tony Bernazard but us here at OhMurph did our diligence to hunt down the former Mets executive.  Now, apparently on the books for Scott Boras, we discovered that his position with the super agent is only a rouse.  The job came about right around the time as Tony was preparing for his video game debut “Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad Of Gay Tony”.  When I tracked Tony down at a West Village Cafe he cleared up many of the misconceptions that surrounded his departure from the Mets.

Niles Standish:  Tony first of all, congrats on the success of the video game.
Tony Bernazard:  Thank you much papi.  It was in development for a while but I couldn’t let it drop while I was with the Mets.
NS:  Lets talk about your time in NY, things ended a little rough for you.
TB:  I’m an open book now.  Where shall we begin?
NS:  Lets talk about the incident with the minor leaguers in Binghamton.  You wanted to fight the team?
TB:  That’s how the media spun it.  They’re can’t say the real story.  I wanted to hot oil wrestle them!  They were doing so poorly.  On the field, fundamentals.  I wanted to rattle the cage a little.  Light a fire.  So what better place to start a fire then with a little hot oil? 
NS:  Ok Tony we aren’t here to judge you.  But you understand why that might have come off as inappropriate right?
TB: Yes but its OK.  What else?

NS:  How about your “unusual suggestions” to the Mets front office?
TB:  That I can contest.  I was just doing my job.  You try and come up with new ideas for the fans.  One idea is playing a few home games in another city.  Many teams have done it.  Lets them call it “unusual” I was petitioning Jeff for us to play a few home games on Fire Island.  You trade the 7 train for the ferry, so what?  It could have been fabulous!
NS:  The press reported a conflict between you and Francisco Rodriguez, what say you?
TB:  Ok this is another thing the media took and ran with.  It did get heated between us but it wasn’t over relievers.  I told him he’d look much better in skinny jeans.  He’s still going baggy, what is this 1999?
NS:  How about your new job with Scott Boras?  Fact or fraud?
TB:  Total fraud.  I’m on the books, yes, but I’m not doing much work.  If I was working with Boras I’d be busy on the phone trying to get a decent player twice what he’s worth to play in a terrible city.  Not having brunch and doing this interview with you!
NS:  Very true Tony.  Would you ever consider a return to baseball?  Take a position with another organization?
TB:  I don’t think so.  The life I lead now, I love it.  I was finally able to go to Fashion Week, it was amazing!  I guess I can never rule it out though.  I have always wanted to work in San Fransisco.  Brian Sabean, call me baby!
NS:  Thanks for your time Tony.
TB:  Its been a pleasure, compadre.