I tell ya I don’t get no respect.

Last year everybody’s talkin’ Jose’s Hamstring this and Jose’s Hamstring that. There was even some B.S. on this site last year about it.

Then of course it’s Beltran’s knee, Johan’s elbow, David’s Cabeza but was a single gland even mentioned? Nada. I tell ya its just ponderous.

I hate to be sensitive like that, but you know I gotta say it’s a good feeling to get a little vengeance. The Vigil-anti Thyroid, got a nice ring to it.

So are you surprised that I gave Jose Hyperthyroidism? Are you kiddin’ me? The guy was already jumpin’ around like a kangaroo on crack, I knew nobody would even notice me kickin’ it up a notch.

I played it coy though. Showed up on one test, hid on the second. Gotta build the brand a little (heard about doin’ that on Metsblog), get some attention.

A little over secretion here and there and I got the doctor sayin’ Jose needs treatment. I push through another squirt directly into Jose’s brain and he’s sayin’ that he gotta stay away from high iodine pescado. Hahaha, I’m lovin’ this.

Of course I know that one treatment for this is to get Jose to drink some radioactive Iodine and that will be the death of me. But let me tell ya, I’ll still get revenge. Think kind thoughts about all those triples you used to see if that happens. I’ll have Jose runnin’ like Benjie Molina after a 3 hour binge at Olive Garden’s all-you-can eat pasta bowl.

But listen, I’m a Thyroid not a Hemorrhoid so I know when to back off. I just wanted a little attention, a little taste of the limelight, yes, a little respect.

I am Jose’s Thyroid.

That’s what I’m talkin’ about.