“Royals” by Kiwi pop crooner Lord has undoubtedly been in earshot if you’ve heard any music in the past six months and the baseball link to the song is well documented.
Besides being inspired by an old photograph of George Brett, Lorde was really depressed that she’d never be able to join the Kansas City Royals. The anger that inspired her song could all be for naught as Lorde was recently informed that the Royals hold open tryouts every March in Surprise, Arizona.
Since hearing the news, Lorde has set up camp in Skyline Regional Park just outside of Surprise. Our Cactus League spies report that she has been seen practicing sprints up the steep hillsides and yelling at snakes in preparation for her upcoming visit with Royals. She had poor reviews from a troop of Boy Scouts earning their badges in the wilderness who said she “throws like a girl” but hopes for a much better showing with the other scouts.
Getting a bit ahead of herself, Lorde has also been spotted in a local recording studio remixing the hit that earned her such success. Lyrics are said to include “I might be a Royal but first they assigned me to Burlington of the Appalachian League”.
Whatever happens, one thing is guaranteed:
The Royals will have a higher payroll than the Mets whether they sign Lorde or not.
They’ll also be heavily supported by teenage girls who hate their parents if they do.