Posts Tagged ‘fernando tatis’

Fernando Tatis last night delivered a pinch-hit grand slam to lift the Mets over the Rockies at Citi Field. Using reverse psychology, manager Jerry Manuel called on Fernando “6-4-3″ Tatis to deliver in a situation in which a double play was the worst possible outcome: 8th inning, two out, bases juiced, game tied.

Thank You, Mr. Jesus!

Despite being a part-time player, Tatis leads Planet Earth in GIDPs. His propensity for grounding into double plays has lead opposing teams to purposely walk the hitter in front of him when they spot him on deck. Some pitchers have sent him “thank you” gifts such as Target gift cards. Opposing fielders even turn bases-empty double plays on ground balls hit by Tatis. PETA recently filed a petition to ban Tatis from all ballgames for killing so many worms on the infield grass.

A fella’s self-esteem is bound to take a beating after repeatedly creating two outs with just one swing. Seeing a golden opportunity after his tater to lift Tatis’ spirits further, his teammates saw the fans starting a wave out by the left-center seats, as has become common practice by the Citi Field “fans” during close, exciting moments in the late innings. Tatis was in the dugout being congratulated when a couple of teammates implored him to take a “curtain call,” and Tatis was thrust out of the dugout with a perfectly-timed shove as the wave passed over the home dugout. Tatis’ heartwarming smile was all the guys needed to know that their mission was accomplished.

That night, Tatis would go home to his two Yorkies, Fernanda and DeePee, and recount to them his great night. Meanwhile, the Citi Field faithful that night would finish scarfing down their lobster rolls, or finish playing Playstation 3 out past centerfield, or sip their cocktails in the Caesar’s club, and would eventually learn of Tatis’ exploits while watching NY1 the next morning. “Oh look, dear,” Mortimer Wilsonshire III said from his Connecticuit mansion. “It appears that the Metropolitans won the match we attended yesterday evening due to that Latino fellow. Shame we didn’t see it.”

The Infamous Tatis Nut Slap

Tatis Nut Slap