Posts Tagged ‘kaz matsui’

Personally, I think this post is long overdue, but better late than never, I suppose.

5.  Masato Yoshii – One of my favorites.  Won 18 games for the Mets over 2 years before heading off to the Rockies.  He had a soft smile and a hard hand shake.  I will not forget those qualities.

4.  Kaz Matsui -  The only Asian or Non Asian player to hit a home run in his first plate appearance for three years in a row.  He fooled us into thinking we might have something here.  We didn’t, he sucked.  Wound up tearing his anus in 2008.  Ouch.

3.  Jae Soe – By Default

2.  Tsuyoshi Shinjo – Born in Japan and raised in Fukuoka, Shinjo warmed New York fans up with his orange dyed hair.  He also stole Davey Johnson’s #5.  Bold move for an Asian who is new to this land.  I don’t like that he did it, but I like the marbles. 

1.  Benny Agbayani -  Hit a big home run against the Giants in the post season.  Always appeared to look fatter than he really was, I think.  Some may say he’s in fact Hawaiian, but he falls under this category for a number of reasons, including his game winning Grand Slam against the Cubs on opening day in Tokyo.

Today marks the 494 day (or 1 year, 4 months, 8 days, or 42,681,600 seconds or 711,360 minutes or 11,856 hours or 70 weeks (rounded down, of course)) anniversary of the greatest sports injury of all time.

This is likely the cause of the Anal Fissure

We’ve seen some gruesome injuries before, such as, Robin Ventura’s fractured foot on a slide home to Moises Alou’s disgusting foot injury to Kendall’s misstep at first base and Sammy Sosa’s back injury.

But nothing and I mean NOTHING compares to the Anal Fissure AKA Anal Rippage suffered by Kaz Matsui back in 2008.

The definition of Anal Fissure is a tear in the lining of the lower rectum (anus) that causes pain during bowel movements.

Sure, there have been more gruesome injuries in the world of baseball, but none compare to the embarrassment of the world knowing you ripped your ass and wondering how the hell it happened.  Too bad for Kaz, he wasn’t a Met when this happened as surely we would have covered it up in some shady explanation that doesn’t add up.

By the way, look at this picture of Shawn Green… he looks so young!