Posts Tagged ‘razor shines’

Los Angeles – In a 2-2 ballgame in the top of the 11th inning Monday night, Ryan Church was greeted with a high five by Louis Castillo after crossing home plate with the go-ahead run. Only the run didn’t count. On his dash from first base, after an Angel Pagan drive to the right-centerfield gap, Church missed the third base bag, resulting in an out and likely costing the Mets the game. It was the latest and most embarrassing mistake in what has been a season filled with miscues for the team.

Fielding reporters’ questions after the game, Church was unapologetic for his base running blunder, claiming it was no blunder at all. Rather, it was a stand for teen abstinence.

Church, whose deep religious views are well known, told reporters, “Young people in America are constantly bombarded with graphic images of sex everywhere they turn. And it’s difficult to remain committed to God’s intentions.  Spending time on 1st base is fairly innocent.  And even swiping 2nd base can be fairly sinless.  But trouble starts at 3rd, where it is often difficult for teens to obey the yield sign on their way to ‘home plate.’  Hopefully this gesture will raise awareness for this very important cause.”

While with the Washington Nationals in 2005, Church issued an apology after relaying a conversation he had with the team’s chaplain.  Seeking advice about a former girlfriend, who was Jewish, Church reportedly asked, “Jewish people, they don’t believe in Jesus.  Does that mean they’re doomed?”  After being told that yes, in fact, they are, Church replied, “Man, if they only knew.  Other religions don’t know any better. It’s up to us to spread the word.”  When pressed whether or not he’d “rounded third” properly with that girlfriend, Church stated he did, but that it “didn’t count because she’s just a Jew broad.”

But what can a teen do to stave off temptation when there seems to be a clear path to home?  Church recommends doing what he does.  ”Just envision the bloated figure of third base coach Razor Shines giving you the stop sign.  And just remember, you don’t need to go all the way to score with Jesus.”

Despite being 4th on the team in at bats through Tuesday, Church is 9th in runs scored